Letting

It's scary

letting go of a part of yourself

to become who you're meant to be

letting go of the miserable life you had

in order to get the life you've always wanted

letting go of the old

to make room for the new

letting the dead things die

and deleting the things that help you remember

because, honestly, you will never forget

and going out into the unknown

because you're certain of your future

1-27-2013 Sun. 6:32pm © Kayla Napua Kong

Become Before

Most have to go through life and live it all to become wise. I'm grateful that I have lived like an old person and have become wise before I live it all.



1-27-2013 Sun. 10:01pm © Kayla Napua Kong

little thumbnail

I have to admit

I forgot about you

I think of you so often

everyday since you've been gone

but I know I forgot about you

or maybe I just haven't been thinking about you for a few hours or minutes...

or maybe I had just forgotten that time

that little moment in time

do you remember that one time?...

anyways...

I was signing in to some old accounts

and checking if I could delete them now

since they're so old

and I haven't used them in so long

they were just floating around

out there in cyberspace...

I signed in to an old account that I hadn't signed in to in ages...

I used to use that account to store some pictures

and I know I forgot about this

because when I went in to check

to check what I used to use this account for

I seen a little tiny square

a little thumbnail

and my heart sank because it was a thumbnail...

of you--





and I know I had forgotten...

because, if I hadn't, my heart wouldn't have felt the pang

it wouldn't have felt the difference of feeling normal

to suddenly feeling sad

a little heart feeling...

it wouldn't have felt the reminder

that even though my life somehow feels almost the same

it is not

because I just remembered

because for a few minutes I had forgotten

that you are gone.


Kayla Napua Kong © October 21, 2012 3:38am
(little edits done on December 1, 2012 Sat.)

The Invisible Tree

I feel like I am a tree rooted in my spot amidst the seasons; the seasons forever changing around me but I go nowhere. The same cycle, the same routine, with changes so little that they barely even matter. They come. They go. I go nowhere. I do nothing. But I am still a matter of time & time has a way of eating away at me. Though I have many years it takes them all away; it grabs and it grabs at my years which move slowly like a painful poison then speedily like it's running out. Through me I see everyone pass me by as I watch them--rooted in my spot--wise and old and grave--to know all the stories--to know all of everything--but, without a mouth, I have no say. I am rooted on a sturdy foundation; I cannot move; I cannot go anywhere... The wind blows upon me; it rustles me, it moves me yet, save some swaying, I remain here... Always & Alone... I have leaves but I cannot leave. I stand tall but, my leaves, they fall... I am a tree... What is my purpose? It must not be for me. *~_~)

Originally written in my iPod's notes on March 29, 2011 Tues 5am © Kayla Napua Kong