Hold onto yourself

Don't give up who you are and the feeling in your soul of who you're meant to be. In every decision that you make in life, you must always protect the core of your existence: your purpose.

June 18, 2014 © Kayla Napua Kong

behind the scenes: thoughts

...as i sat, searching on the computer, alone in the dark room lit up only by the small desk lamp, for a picture of Honi to use in the “About” page of www.HoniBoujouGirls.com, I came across a handful of memories from a lifetime ago. It was another life then. The best camera, in my opinion, a Fujifilm 1.3 mega pixel digital camera, from the beginning of the millennium when digital cameras were beginning to be a thing that people owned, captured so much light and life in a time before another kind of storm. We, all of us, were so much younger then, so naive then.  We didn't know about time and passing. I sat there, trying to find a picture and instead I found a bunch of sad feelings. Though there's nothing we could have known better, there was regret... that little part of you that regrets the way life turned out. Because we don't really know what life is until it's gone. We don't understand that the purpose of life is not to let you live while you're young but to learn what life really is before you die. I regret that that's the way life is. Why can't it be another way? Why couldn't life have been easier? But at the same time I know why and I do kind of understand but at the same time I feel sad about the way things are and I regret when I wish things were different...

thoughts of 11/1/2012, lil' edits 11-28-2012, pic added 12-1-2012 © Kayla Napua Kong

The Invisible Tree

I feel like I am a tree rooted in my spot amidst the seasons; the seasons forever changing around me but I go nowhere. The same cycle, the same routine, with changes so little that they barely even matter. They come. They go. I go nowhere. I do nothing. But I am still a matter of time & time has a way of eating away at me. Though I have many years it takes them all away; it grabs and it grabs at my years which move slowly like a painful poison then speedily like it's running out. Through me I see everyone pass me by as I watch them--rooted in my spot--wise and old and grave--to know all the stories--to know all of everything--but, without a mouth, I have no say. I am rooted on a sturdy foundation; I cannot move; I cannot go anywhere... The wind blows upon me; it rustles me, it moves me yet, save some swaying, I remain here... Always & Alone... I have leaves but I cannot leave. I stand tall but, my leaves, they fall... I am a tree... What is my purpose? It must not be for me. *~_~)

Originally written in my iPod's notes on March 29, 2011 Tues 5am © Kayla Napua Kong