One and The Same

My gift is a curse

of which I am not afraid

for it is all around me and a part of me

we are one

together

to feel the worst

to capture it's moment

for it is a type of masterpiece

a twisted story--

no! a story with a twist!

Within horrors and treasures lie

Like any tale worth telling...

Inside of the curse lies the one with the blessing...



8:35pm 8-6-2016 © Kayla Napua Kong

Cracking...

You don't care.

You want the end of Me.

There is not one important thing that is more important than the will to Live!

We're going to do the same things anyway, why don't we do it in Peace.

Is peace only for the resting? I wonder... _(~.~)_

The will to die comes back again...

Minds: fragile as glass, handle with care.

What would you do if you were 'bout to slip away?

I'd eat... maybe tweet...

Write with all my might!

Erratic thoughts float between discolored pages...

flipping back and forth...

no bookmark... no place...

Funny how a loved one can disappear before your eyes...

They don't even need to leave to leave...

Forever?

Is suddenly never.

One minute we're here, next minute we're not.

Is life a trick?

We must be magic!


8:11pm 8-6-2016 © Kayla Napua Kong

Holding on

It's unfortunate to be feeling sad

when we still have so much left to be happy for.

We mourn one when we could be enjoying the rest...

cause "the rest" makes it seem like you've been left out...

How can we go on without you?...

Do you feel all alone?

Are they keeping you company?...

Is it ok for us to be happy yet?

I'm not sure if I want to be...

I worry that, if I'm happy again, I'll be leaving you behind.

I never thought I'd second guess the end of suffering

Death is so absolute, so permanent, so final.

I never thought I'd want the sorrow...

The sorrow keeps you near.

I never thought there'd be something worse...

It's better than being without you.


© July 18, 2016

only you

she might be in the other room

but she's not

she might greet me when i come home

but she won't

where is she?

where are you?

i miss her


i wish i could give you things

one only thinks of giving someone

when it's too late

if i could hold you again

i would

if i could kiss you again 

i would

if i could hug you again

i might never let go

but

if i could go back

i wouldn't

cause i don't miss how things were

i don't miss the cruel and sad times

i don't wish to see us miserable again

i only miss who you were

i only miss everything about you

i only miss you



© July 17-18, 2016

time and space

has it already been two years?

these past two days have lasted forever.

you were yesterday

you were long ago

i can't seem to grasp

that like the time

you have passed

this empty space is unending 

everything is blending



© July 16-17, 2016

Remembering a dream...

when her heart stopped

my heart started


she sleeps forever

i am finally awake

but i can never wake up from this nightmare

only to saddness from this good dream

i never want to forget her

she's slipping away...

but i won't let her.

© July 17, 2016

Sweet dreams...

I woke up in the morning and forgot that you were gone for, in my memory, you just fell asleep...


Years ago feel like yesterday

Like hours of sleep feel like minutes passed


It feels like I may have dreamt her... for everything about her was perfect.

© July 15, 2016 9:00am - July 17, 2016

Distill

When there's been a fire burning inside you for so long,

it's weird when it's not there...

it's not necessarily a bad thing though...

but it just feels quiet...

and I feel still.

What is this stillness?

--this deep silence and calm.

6.15.2015 6:17am © Kayla Napua Kong