The Invisible Pages Of Dusty Thoughts: July 2016

Holding on

It's unfortunate to be feeling sad

when we still have so much left to be happy for.

We mourn one when we could be enjoying the rest...

cause "the rest" makes it seem like you've been left out...

How can we go on without you?...

Do you feel all alone?

Are they keeping you company?...

Is it ok for us to be happy yet?

I'm not sure if I want to be...

I worry that, if I'm happy again, I'll be leaving you behind.

I never thought I'd second guess the end of suffering

Death is so absolute, so permanent, so final.

I never thought I'd want the sorrow...

The sorrow keeps you near.

I never thought there'd be something worse...

It's better than being without you.

© July 18, 2016

only you

she might be in the other room

but she's not

she might greet me when i come home

but she won't

where is she?

where are you?

i miss her

i wish i could give you things

one only thinks of giving someone

when it's too late

if i could hold you again

i would

if i could kiss you again

i would

if i could hug you again

i might never let go

but

if i could go back

i wouldn't

cause i don't miss how things were

i don't miss the cruel and sad times

i don't wish to see us miserable again

i only miss who you were

i only miss everything about you

i only miss you

© July 17-18, 2016

time and space

has it already been two years?

these past two days have lasted forever.

you were yesterday

you were long ago

i can't seem to grasp

that like the time

you have passed

this empty space is unending

Remembering a dream...

when her heart stopped

my heart started

she sleeps forever

i am finally awake

but i can never wake up from this nightmare

only to saddness from this good dream

i never want to forget her

she's slipping away...

but i won't let her.

Sweet dreams...

I woke up in the morning and forgot that you were gone for, in my memory, you just fell asleep...

Years ago feel like yesterday

Like hours of sleep feel like minutes passed

It feels like I may have dreamt her... for everything about her was perfect.